Who you are and Who'd you rather be?

Howsoever short on luck he might consider himself, chuzZoo sure is a lucky chap when it comes to real life lotteries. So, the other day he received a letter from the TATA Motors dealership, that he'd been chosen as one of the lucky lakhs to be handed the keys of a Tata Nano from the first batch of cars being rolled out. Lucky Bastard!


Now I'm not a really big fan of hatchbacks and real small ones like the Nano... no ways. But I was still kinda excited at the news. At least I'd be having a feel of driving my dream car for once. (The Porsche 911, not the Nano!) The cute small car has it's hugely small engine decked at the back - pretty Porschey for me.


So on the weekend, we drove in with his car, me behind the wheel.  The yellow winking cutey sure seemed like any high school kid's ream car. And then we partied around for some time, after all 'twas his first four wheeled chariot off his own money.


The next day I waved chuzZoo goodbye from my balcony as he proudly drove to work. I had taken the day off to work out my earnings. Yes I was thinking of getting myself a drive too. But by the end of the day, I realised my interests in philanthropy don't leave me much money to get me a nice bike or car.


And then I saw chuzZoo park in the driveway. I ran out excitedly to greet him. The look on his face told a different story though. I decided I wasn't going to spoil it more for him by going about asking. But then, he seldom hold back. "I offered a lift to a female colleague of mine and yet she preferred to go with this other guy (Name withheld on request.) He even showed his Facebook profile on his Blacberry. No, he wasn't a proverbial hunk. So I decided to check out some more.


"Does the guy have a bike?" I started with my questionnare.
"Yes. He does." chuzZoo began with the replies.


"Does he wear flashy jackets?" was my next question in the stupidly worked out questionnaire.
"Yeah, he does when off work.", came the reply.


"What about his notebook?" I fired in the next one.
"What about it. Of course he has one." chuzZoo seemed to be getting all irritated.
"No. All I asked about was the brand.", I clarified.
"It's a Mac Book Pro. What has that got to do with what happened to me today man!", yes, he'd run outta patience.


"Well, if you look at it closely, pretty much everything."

"He drives a bike, with DC accessories, wears flashy clothes and has a thing for Macs. In a way, he is out for all things good! That is what girls go for chuzZoo, unless she happens to be your bollywoodish soul mate, which as statistics say, is a rare occurrence. You know most girls won't give a second look to a guy who drives the budget model of an economy hatchback, wears formals even on a company picnic, and well, works off a laptop that he picked up from a multibrand store. Of course you could be lucky once in a while, but you ran outta your luck at the TATA Nano lottery mate."


All this while I had my back at chuzZoo, and now when I was about to turn to face him I realised I could be in for facing a heart broken man, with tears. Well, thank heavens, there was none of that. Just another curious smile and 'what next' look.


"So what do I do winZoo? "


"You could start with buying those things to lure girls. Or, you could check your priorities. What's more important to you - A girl riding pillion when you are driving back home or driving to and from work in the comfort of a closed A/C car. A notebook that only about 10% of the world's computer users use daily or a good enough Windows notebook that runs, well just about anything for half the cost! And then dear buddy, you'll see all your doubts melting away, giving way to clarity of thought..."


Gosh! I was turning Gandhian in my way of speaking already. So much for troubleshooting a friend's life...


"Guess the clarity is fast approaching me winZoo", chuzZoo replied.
"I'm way too happy with what I have for now, ready to wait for the girl who'd wanna sit in my car." the Bollywood fan in chuzZoo was coming back to life, already.


"Just one question though" he turned back before leaving.
"WHAT! They guy still has questions... No wonder he's him!", I thought.
"Of course, go ahead." I tried my best to sound polite.


"You don't have either - a bike or a car. What's your way? "


And then I recounted my numerous journeys on the Metro, and loved chuzZoo for asking the question as I smiled back and replied, "I prefer public transfer any day dude. It's like a good old Yahoo or MSN chat room minus the bots and without the need for the customary 'A-S-L' routine."


"You look, wink and smile at someone - and the Game, is ON!"


And we were laughing our hearts out...

Life's Recycle Bin

I opened my door the other day to see a rather sad and perplexed look on chuzZoo's face. I don't usually keep any sorta over the counter medicines with me, so I was hoping that it wasn't a packet of ORS that he was expecting off me. But then I saw his Dell XPS in his hand.

Ah thank God. "Looks like something I can help with.", I said.

"Something only you can help with winJoo bro.", he replied with a cheerful and expecting smile. [Apparently his Gujju genes don't allow him to pronounce Z when needed, so I'm winJoo for him and he's chooJoo for himself. BAH!]

As I opened the laptop panel, I saw a system tray popup up balloon advising the user to free up some space off his windows partition. A rather common problem with users who feed their PCs like affectionate mothers, not knowing obesity could kill the child. Anyways, I got down to work. Removing some useless applications, which included toolbars, media players I hadn't known existed, and of course emptying up a rather overflowing recycle bin.

So I was telling him how to avoid the same thing from recurring. "The shift + del combination keys allow you to send data straight out of your PC, without it entering the recycle bin, so you could use that when you are absolutely sure that you are not going to need the thing again. Keeping your HDD free is as simple as that."

chuzZoo hardly ever pays heed to whatever technical stuff I dish out. So all the while he'd been surfing through my e-scrap book on my PC. "You seem to have a lot off friends winJoo. Do you keep in touch with all of them? Are they all that close? I don't seem to have a single friend close enough..."

He was at it again... I really begin to feel giddy and awkward when innocent guys like him begin pouring out in front of me. But I let him do it, I had to be a good neighbour if nothing else.

And when he was done, I decided it was rime for me to try my hand at helping someone in need. Doing something, even I was amateur at.

"None of the people you see in there are my good friends mate. In fact I can vouch for the fact that I have fewer than you do, and the ones that I have are countable on the fingers of my right hand. [I happen to have an extra thumb :P] But yes, all of them are acquaintances. People I have known at one time, and people I tend to keep in my contacts book. Even if I know that they are the meanest of mongrels I'll ever see. Why? Because the shift + delete option isn't such a good option in the system of life. When you've got infinite storage space, you oughta use it to your advantage. I can ring up any of these when I need and I know four out of the five of them will always help back, some, because they are real good samaritans and others because they know they might need me sooner than later. Life's all about a nicely negotiated barter when you are trying hard to survive it and that's what I do. Shuffle up my life's recycle bin every now and then to find a certain someone to work up a nice barter with."

And then I looked at him. He seemed to be in awe of the guy who'd been speaking like crazy for the past five minutes or so. So was I! What was I up to? Crazy or what? But I soon regained my composure, shut down his laptop and handed it to him saying," Yeah! It's really that simple to be friends with people. You just need to know when to use you shift + delete combination, and trust me, you shouldn't be using it too often."

And he winked for once, as if to say, "I'd been listening attentively, all through mate. Thanks."

And just like that, I had found something new to do in life.